


In Another Time

by Caighlee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Canon, F/M, Gen, Inspired by Music, Lisa is not a bitch!, Lisa's Point of View, in a nutshell, like to the max, results of brainwash, their year together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2013-07-31
Packaged: 2017-12-22 00:17:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/906659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caighlee/pseuds/Caighlee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by Cosmic Love by Florence and the Machine, Skinny Love by Birdy, and Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy. Lisa reflects on her and Dean's year together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Another Time

 

When Dean came to her door Lisa was surprised. And sad, hopeful, crious, mad, scared, careful, and oh so very happy. Dean was  _alive_ and in one piece, at least ... physically speaking. She could tell though, he was torn in two. He wanted to be with them but at the same time, he didn't. He wanted a life with her and Ben; he tried with them, he really tried, and he was  _good._  He was actually almost perfect after those first three months of rocky, half-drunk paranoia.

But every day she could tell that he was torn; between her and trying to find Sam, between having a home and hunting. She was pleased every morning to find Dean next to her in bed because she knew if something, especially  _Sam_ , came and asked or threatened them Dean would be off. Sam and Dean were all each other had and because of that they were close. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but she hoped Sam would stay gone because if Sam came back ... Dean would be lost to her and Ben. It would be such a simple choice for Dean - go to his brother.

So, with every day, with every month, she grew more hopeful, more positive that Dean would stay with them, well, forever. Because while he was torn between her and Sam, between keeping her and Ben safe and hunting all evil things in the night he  _was_  there in the mornings, kissing her awake before he left for his job. He was also there on his off days, helping her see Ben off for school, and on holidays, grilling and drinking beers with their neighbors or curled under a blanket with her in front of the fireplace after Ben had gone to sleep.

While she hoped and grew happier everyday though ... she knew. She knew that sooner or later what Dean truly was would catch up with him. In the shape of monsters, other hunters, Dean's paranoia, or Sam she didn't know but it would catch up. And so, every night she went to bed with a mixture of happiness and weariness.

When Sam showed up, monsters on his tail, she knew it was over. Though she held on just as fiercely as Dean did, if not more so, she knew they were done. And that hurt but then again, that's reality for you - harsh, bright, and everything that  _isn't_ in your fantasy. 

She got what Dean was trying to do, leave them behind so they wouldn't be hurt but in that regard  _he_  was hurting them. And even then, when Dean pushed Ben, Lisa didn't want to let go - she  _loved_  him. They were family, they were good ... and she didn't want Dean to be alone and broken again. She had to do it though, put her foot down and not let herself or Ben be hurt by Dean over and over again because in those crumbling days he wasn't giving enough love or care to out-balance the pain.

For days she hurt, barely doing more than she had to as his scent, his things, his clothes, and his pictures remained. It took a bit more than a month for her to move on, to feel like she wasn't betraying him when she looked with interest at another man. It was harder for Ben, his one father figure leaving but she couldn't do much for him when he wouldn't talk to her.

Why try though? Of  _course_ he'd come back, one way or another.

But ... as Lisa laid there in the hospital bed, waiting to be released after the car wreck, she couldn't understand why her heart felt so heavy, weary, and empty as the man walked away. It was almost like heartache. Maybe in other circumstances they would've met and fell in love. Soul-mates of another time.

Within days the face of the man who hit them was a blur and the name he'd given - did he even give a name? - was forgotten.


End file.
